Quarry Lane

If the movie Terrible No Good Very Bad Day has anything to teach that poor and most likely undervalued creature known as the La Crosse family, which finds itself yearly slogging desperately through the dead of winter during the longest short month known to the history of all calendars, it's that you might just as well expect to find a crocodile waiting for you inside the entrance of your house as anything else, or that the kangaroo, at large in your backyard as part of the well intended Australian outback party for your 12 year old, will drop kick you on your keester just as easily as

look at you. Winter in Wisconsin is a time for packing in as much daily trouble, sickness, destruction and overall menace as you can possibly find (what else is there to do?) and then always a little more, only so then to be confined, involuntarily, in your house to dwell not only on the events that have transpired, but those most certainly lurking in the ready.  It might all start with the teen-commandeered Toyota

whose tracks back directly into a mailbox purposefully shaped as conspicuously as possible to a cobblestone fortress, or later, a similarly teen-commandeered car backing into a closed garage, pushing it out like a crushed soda can.

All businesses will assuredly lose half their workforces, hospitals might become like second homes, pink eye, vomit, bm movements again monitored as you might a babe in toilet training.  Necks and backs, now contracted to muscles as stiff as plastic, will keep local chiropractors rubbing fists together with the prospect of job security from here until forever.

When pipes aren't freezing or faucets forming icicles, heaters are burning themselves up on the coldest night of the year mostly because they too are just plain bored by the monotony of churning daily with little respite.  The answer to it all?  Sunny Florida.  Wait.  Cancelled.  Check.  There is a wonderful scene at the end of the Terrible Day movie when the father, who has just made a scene in a Japanese restaurant as a flaming pirate, walks out into the alley and finally caves in to admit there are such things as bad days.  This is nothing.  Make the movie Winter in Wisconsin and we have ourselves something closer akin to real saga.